Blood in Heaven

Description

I explore the loss of innocence young girls experience as they engage in spiritual rituals while becoming women. I stage scenes commenting on the divine spaces discovered during the transition from girlhood to womanhood. I use a 4x5 field camera to create scenes reminiscent of the mystical, unnerving side of my childhood and the questions girls ask and secrets they share that lead them on a lifelong spiritual journey. Blood in Heaven stems from my exploration of religion and spirituality. Last year I questioned my beliefs after a loss of faith. I relived memories of childhood that now reveal the ritualistic and spiritual relationship I had with the universe as a young girl that I shared with my closest friends. I missed the innocent childhood love we shared. I missed the secrets and blood oaths that defined us and bound us together. Memories by the river often come to mind; hiding from the boys in the bushes on the river banks, skinny dipping but deep down hoping the boys would catch us and see what we do in secret. I recently experienced the faith I had in the landscape of my childhood, while showing it to a friend after years of no visits. Although overgrown, I instantly remembered the mystical realism I saw every day. It took returning to this landscape both physically and mentally to realize the childhood rituals I was craving had continued all along, they were just changing as I became a woman. These photographs are a window into this space, and a witness to rituals of young women.